Life is a journey

My heart aches as I step closer towards my home, Knowing that when I'm in my room I'll feel alone, Knowing tears will trickle down my face, This is the only time I can let it out there's no time to waste, I've held my tears back all throughout the day, Trying not think about it and putting on a happy face, Even though I smile and laugh along with my mates, You're all I seem to think about at the end of the day, I can only pretend I'm okay for so long, Until reality hits me as soon as I get home, Why does no one take me seriously? Is it because I'm too nice or am I too ugly? I look in the mirror and burst out crying, The thought of you with someone else kills me, I'm dying, Thinking about her seeing your smile and kissing you underneath the stars, Thinking about you holding her tightly in your arms, Thinking about you looking at her the way you used to look at me, Treating her so nicely the way you did with me, Seeing and talking to

I'm tired of fighting but not receiving the same energy, For once I want it reciprocated back to me, I'm tired of crying whilst you're smiling, I'm tired of caring when I don't cross your mind, I had to delete you from my life so I could move on, Because you wasted my time all along, Seeing other people whilst I saw none, Having others on your mind but for me you were the only one, The only one I'd think about, The only one in my heart, The only one I wanted to see, But I guess I lived too far, See if you really like someone you'll make that effort, Distance makes the heart grow fonder it could only get better, But for you it was too much, you wanted it to be convenient, You weren't willing to give up time so instead you became distant, So you pursued others and instead of giving up time you gave up, You gave up completely without fighting for us, I guess I just wasn't worthy enough, Why was I not worthy enough for your love?

I went to sleep just like every other night, I shut my eyes, no prayer came to mind, The dream I had was so vivid, It felt so real I thought it was lucid, But that's where I went wrong, No this isn't a dream this is another realm, I was in the exact same position I went to sleep in, The exact same room layout, how could I possibly be dreaming? But I couldn't move, I couldn't leave, My room was pitch black I couldn't see a thing, I tried to turn on the light's but it just wasn't happening, I didn't understand what was going on with me, I reached for my phone but I couldn't reach it, To call for help, someone please stop this, This wasn't sleep paralysis, this was something else, It didn't feel right, I was all by myself, I couldn't leave my bed but every time that I did, I'd end up back inside it, it was so weird, I was on my back sliding on the floor, Trying and trying to get closer to that door, I tried to sc

Why? Why do you love this man when all he does is cause you pain? Why do you love this man when he has a negative impact on your brain? He’s driving you insane, your mental health’s in a state, Yet you still love him at the end of the day, Why? Because you opened up to him, because you let him in, You gave him a part of you and he gave you a part of him, Now that you’re connected, your souls are together, So even if things aren’t going right you want them to get better, He disrespects you yet you seem to allow it, You can’t stop thinking about him and thinking what if, What if he changes and what if he improves? Changes his behaviour and the way he moves? But ask yourself what if you moved on and found someone else? What if you get to know them on a serious level this time first? Wait until marriage so the connection is genuine, It’s not deprived from indulging in sexual sin, Have a deep emotional connection and fall for their soul, Instead of f

I can't stop thinking about you, I watch my Snapchat story hoping that you'll watch it too, Hoping that you'll watch it soon, Hoping that you miss me too, But you don't, And I know you've told me this 1000 times, Yet I'm still here telling myself these are all lies, Because your words and your actions are different, It's like you want something then you move distant, You're in the middle, you don't know what you want Whether you want to focus on yourself or want to be with someone, Whether you're able to do both or whether it'll distract you, but you're scared you'll waste your time so have no clue, You have no clue of what you want to do, Do I carry on talking to this person? I don't know what to do I'll just distance myself until I make my decision, And as the time goes by you become more and more inconsistent, Inconsistent with your time and inconsistent with your replies, Inconsistent with your mind,