Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Peace

They say sleep is for the weak,
But some people are actually physically weak,
Mentally and spiritually weak,
That all they want to do is be in their bed sheets,

But being in their bed sheets isn't enough,
They want to sleep when life gets rough,
They don't want to experience things when they get tough,

Being awake is draining,
With all the drama, the pain it's always raining,
There isn't a brighter day,
But they hold onto that hope and stay,

Hoping that things will change,
Hoping for a better day,
Whilst awake they question whether it's worth the pain,
Whether it's worth staying,
Whether they can go another day,

They feel like they can't but don't want to cause further pain,
By leaving their family in the rain,
So all they want to do is sleep,
Sleep for as long as they can so they don't feel weak,
Sleep so they don't have to overthink,
Sleeping brings peace and gives you dreams,

Waking up means dealing with your heart aching,
Your mind overflowing, it's slowly overtaking,
They're not being lazy it's not what it seems,
What they're feeling can not be seen,
It's deeper than sleeping its peace, a glimpse of what could be.

Saturday, 1 September 2018

Anchor

You'd think loving with anxiety is hard,
Well it is and it's not,
It takes you ages to feel comfortable around someone,
And to be able to be you,

But when I met you,
It was easy with you,
There was something about you,
Your personality shone through,
I could sense you were beautiful,
And there was so much more to you that drew me to you,

You could tell we were getting closer,
You'd kiss me and I'd wrap my arms around you uncontrollably,
I would look you in the eyes and be wondering,
Wondering how you're so beautiful and make me so happy,
How I managed to feel so comfortable after always panicking,

Wondering whether I should wrap my arms around you from behind,
Hug you for a while and hold you tight,
Wondering if it's too much I'm constantly battling my mind,
Wondering whether I should ask for a cuddle in the middle of the night,

Wondering if I should sit on your lap,
I just wanted to be by your side,
But I kept it to myself,
Because my thoughts consumed my mind,

But now I am able to maintain eye contact and not think about things for a while,
Because when I'm with you it's just me and you blocking out the world,
I forget the surroundings and forget all the people,
I forget feeling insecure and my focus is on you,

As much as you make my heart beat fast,
You also keep it calm,
I feel safe when you hold me in your arms,
I always thought that you'd do me no harm,
But there's nothing to keep me calm now that you're gone.

Thursday, 15 March 2018

Nobody Knows

They say that you can scream
Scream if something's happening
But what if you scream and no one is helping
You're crying your eyes out yet no ones helping

What if you scream and no ones listening
What if you're trying to let it out but it's just not happening
Frozen and you can't let it go
Like ice you're rock solid and cold
You can't move your mind has froze
You're in shock and nobody knows

Nobody knows that you can't just say no
Nobody knows that you can't just go
Or you don't want it to be labelled as rape so you go with the flow
Your mind can't take that it's happened again
You're tired of feeling low
You're scared of what they'll do to you if you said no

What if I get beaten again and my jaw is froze
What if it's worse and they kill me so no one knows
What happens if you overdosed
You get drunk and they take off your clothes
You can't even move and you can't say no
Your mind is corrupt and you don't even know

What if you're unconscious and you don't know
You didn't know you lost your virginity or why people are calling you a hoe
You're drowning under water and don't know how to float
But the thing is you don't even know you're drowning so how can you float?
How can you learn to swim when the problem is unknown?

And even if you somehow manage to get on a boat
You don't make it to safety and get hit by the same tornado
You're spinning around in circles like a merry go round you'll go
Back to the beginning where you're not able to float
People will say it's your fault and that it's your own
Maybe it is and maybe I know

Maybe I shouldn't have been wearing those clothes
Maybe I shouldn't have drunk and if there's a party I shouldn't go
Maybe if I hung around the right people I wouldn't have known
What it feels like to be taken advantage of and thrown
Thrown into the ocean when I don't know how to float

Saturday, 16 December 2017

Broken

When I met you for the very first time,
I saw stars in your eyes,
I saw the blue skies,
But you were just a demon in disguise,
Everything you told me were lies,

I know I wasn't being very wise,
You always played games you were rolling the dice,
So now I'm the one that pays the price,
Now I'm the one that can't even sleep at night,
All I seem to think about is you there being by my side,
I see you in my dreams but I don't see you in real life,

But I keep telling myself that one day I might,
That just one day everything will be alright,
That just one day everything won't go wrong but right,
That just one day you'll realise that I'm worth the fight,

And hopefully I haven't been wasting my time,
Wasting all the tears that I've cried,
Wiping them away and pretending that I'm fine,
Smiling on the outside but I'm broken inside,

With all these feelings I should be putting them aside,
But instead I'm here keeping them in hide,
Hoping that you would put your pride aside,
But instead all you do is burn me alive,
To the point where if I saw a deep ocean I would dive,

Wishing and praying everyday that I'd die,
I felt alone and you were the reason why,
You left without even saying goodbye,
I'd look up to the sky and ask my self why,
Why you were the reason the sun would shine,
Yet I'd still cry myself to sleep at night,

I didn't leave this earth with hope that one day you'd be mine,
At one point in life you made me feel so alive,
And I'll hold onto that for the rest of my life,
I'll hold onto that until the day I die.



Love

What did we do to deserve this?
The continuous slavery and discrimination
People think that we live in a perfect generation
But there's still different acts of racism

Whether its passive or active
People are still being judged and targeted
There are deaths yet no one is active
About the real problems in the world it's like they are blinded

Some people say that they don't see colour
But I think that's our underlying problem
We need to see colour and accept it
We need to see colour, love and respect it

We are all human we shouldn't be separated
There should not be one race that is hated
Race is special, it makes us unique
Yet people are out here dying on these streets

People are getting killed as we speak
Because of their colour that makes them unique
We need to be kind to one another and understand what love is
But the question is do we really understand what love is?

It's not just the love for your family and friends
Nor just the love you have for your boyfriend or girlfriend
And it's definitely not the love you claim you have
after another person has been shot and is now dead

But the sort of love you can have for the whole of humanity
The sort of love where everyone can sing harmonies
The sort of love that makes everyone happy
Not just you and the ones around you but for the whole of humanity
The truth is, one should ever be treated differently

We need to stop the stereotypes and all of this hatred
We need to prevent the racism before we regret it
Before it's too late and we are back where we started

In a world full of hate, not knowing what love is
For love is what brings us together and helps us flourish
For love we cannot lose, and let destroy us
For love is what makes as human
And makes us, us

"Me Too"

Me too
I have been sexually assaulted too
There's so many people around the world going through this too
And nobody seems to have a clue

Nobody knows how our world is blue
The grass isn't greener and that's the truth
Been shattered to pieces and I can't find the glue
The glue that'll fix me
You'd think that'll do

But you don't have the energy to go and put on your shoes
Nor the energy to wash your hair and use the shampoo
Everything you were into you were no longer into
Used to change your hair all the time but now you stick with the same hairdo

You didn't want to leave the house in case people knew
This thing that you call life you wanted discontinued
So you held back, stayed in and withdrew
from your surroundings and everyone close to you

Even with the glue you still have less value
You can still see the cracks and holes in you too
You'll never be the same again, there's just damage you can't undo
But the flow of your tears must be wiped with a tissue

Keep your head held high and you'll be able to push through
You shouldn't let people's views and judgement get to you
Don't keep it to yourself there's always someone you can turn to
Whether it's a friend, family member or someone close to you

If none of these fit the criteria there's always people to help you,
I promise your wings will return and we will fly with you,
The dreams you've always dreamed of should be continued to be pursued
You can do this, I believe in you




Friday, 29 September 2017

Moving on

Sometimes you just have to let him go
Rather than just going with the flow
The truth may not come out now but sooner it'll show
It's probably not what you want to hear right now but at least you'll know

It'll probably make you feel a little low
You'll hold onto hope and you'll tell yourself no,
this can't be true, he loves me; his eyes said so
He just needs time, he wants to take things slow

But he'll only come once in a while just like the snow
He never settles he's just here for the show
You felt like he span your world but he gave you vertigo
You'd have done anything for him like Juliet did to be with Romeo

But this isn't like the movies that's not how it goes
The attention you gave him just boosted his ego
You'll call his phone
Scream his name and hear your own echo
You'll start to reminisce on the memories, you wouldn't want to let them go

You'll start to play make belief in your head creating scenarios
But holding onto the past will only turn you psycho
It'll take some time but the hurt will help you grow
Like a shooting star you'll glow
and your shine will follow

It's probably not what you want to hear right now but at least then you'll know
That you're much better off without him, you can do this on your own
There's always going to be others, you're not alone
There will be someone that will answer their phone.



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